TFP Communique: Night flight

Dearest homies,
On my way eastward ho to DC now. Like, literally on my way; I'm typing mid-flight. I can't imagine what's going on in First Class right now-- warm cookies? heated blankets?-- because I'm using the Internet in the middle of the sky, how much fancier could it get? Apparently Virgin America is this fancy. The seats are all black leather, the seatbacks are all molded white plastic, the interior lights have a blue underwater glow, my flight attendant is a man named Napoleon. It looks like the train to 2046, all sleek and fancy and ageless. I managed to score an empty row for myself, so here I am at the window seat with my two invisible friends and three seatback monitors and three control panels.

I'm on a busy redeye flight and I land in three hours at 6am EST. Probably no sleep for me tonight; probably, instead, typing nervously away at essays. I took the GRE this morning in Alameda and felt a weight lift off of my chest the second I was done, nearly floated back to Berkeley in the pouring rain. I realized how scared I'd felt these last few weeks- scared of crazy isosceles triangle math problems, scared of not being able to tell the admissions committee what I really mean, scared of being abandoned for inadequacy. I'm finally remembering what it was to be alone with all of it. The little worries and the sheer walls of fear. The only thing I could do was to cling to my mother's leg tight enough that she couldn't shake me off. So, notably, it occurred to me earlier tonight at the airport that I'm traveling with my grandfather's old suitcase, my parents' old canvas bag, and my camera bag which is doubling as my purse for the next two weeks... All of the generations packed at my feet, mine the smallest and most basic and most foundational. If it came down to it, what I would have left if I gave up all of the baggage would be my camera bag, containing: my wallet, three pens and a little notebook, my cell phone, my camera, and j's 10-20mm lens, all nestled in like the Holy Grail.

A good thought for me to ponder.
Signing off, in turbulence,
b.

ps. I have a little side project that I was going to start posting up here tonight, but it's all on my other laptop at home (not this work laptop, which is empty of art...), so it's still comin. I'll call it the People Project. It's about people.