Early Work

Lately, due to lack of new work, I have been going through photos I originally passed over, and trying to find some spark in them. I'll post them as they come.

(2007)

bad posture

clouds reach down to hang heavy on my shoulders

head bent eyes to the ground like I'm looking for spare change

mouths move but I can't hear the words they are saying

cars drive by in slow motion

I wonder

How many times have I been here

how many times have I felt this and cursed the sun for being selective

how many times have I risked a dream

shadow boxing with ghosts turning old photographs 3d

I didn't find music until I was seventeen

I used to fantasize my father was a blues musician and he told me stories

I used to wish that I was born in another time and place

"when I was just a little child- I never saw the sun"

hot tea and ginger candy to soothe the orphan I once was

holding his hand and taking a long walk back down the bombed allies he's come from

he points his finger at the wreckage

I cry and hold my head up for him

more the people project.

youth rights. (color)

Each and Every One

When I took this, I didn't notice that the artist tagged almost every bar descending down the sidewalk.

christmas gift to kt.

"Every September, 30,000 Vaux swifts roost in the chimney of Chapman Elementary School in Portland, Oregon, on their journey south."

hate and self-portraiture.

I'm having a hard time, in whatever sense that means- depressed as hell, and isolating, on the brink of a lot of feelings that I haven't allowed myself to feel yet. Instead of feeling them, I got really sick, and then you know when suddenly everything you can think of seems all wrong even when there's nothing wrong? I wake up in the morning and hate my own face, I hate the haircut that I gave myself out of desperation the other day, I hate my no-talent photos and I hate my camera, I hate my clothes and so I can't stand to do laundry, I hate that I can't breathe and that my head is pounding, I hate the rain, I hate the thought of doing anything but sleeping, I don't want to be around anybody. Most of all, except not really yet, I hate my parents- I hate what they did to my brain, I hate that I don't have a birth family and I hate my father more than anyone I can think of, but instead, right now, I feel like I hate everything else.

I've been packing.


And I've been looking at other people's photos... self-portraiture now, more than anything else, I think to combat how much self-hatred I've been holding. All of the self-portrait artists I've found today are women. Their work is outlandish, elaborate, dramatic and beautiful, totally unlike anything I would ever think to do or anything I would've thought would appeal to me. This Canadian photographer I found, Katie West, sums it up well, I think-

"Working as a self-portrait artist doesn't really make sense. It’s not a profitable gig. It's hard for people to understand. Other photographers look down on it. People believe you're egotistical and narcissistic. It's a rough route to take, and many female self-portrait artists in particular spend a lot of time defending why they do it. But even this defending why we do it, is part of the process. The process of self-portraiture is as endlessly rewarding as it is challenging. For the last decade I’ve used self-portraits to document my life; as awkward, as ridiculous, as painful, as erotic as it might be. This objective can be reflected in my work in an intimate, often vulnerable fashion as I work out my personal feelings and how certain things in my life affect me. The self-portrait process can be like purging emotions from my system; performing photographic exorcisms on memories I want to forget, and promises I want unmade."

Here are some of the photographers I've been looking at- check em out if you have time, they're pretty insane...
http://www.photolauren.com/
http://katiewest.ca/
http://rebekkagudleifs.com/self-portraits.php
http://www.flickr.com/photos/hilabean/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/annaszczek/

point reyes. (storm)

(The 5d renders amazing IQ- this is no color saturation/ manipulation, people. Just a storm and a 5d... so cool)

niece and rain.

copyright infringment.

(j prince masterpiece on Vine.)

seven views of point reyes.

I wanted to follow j prince's lead and try something out. I shot these on a recent excursion up the coast. I was so happy shooting there, and yet on return felt this pang of hopelessness and self-doubt when I saw the results. Subsequently, I just sat on these shots and didn't touch 'em. So last night I worked on this set, and feel satisfied with putting in the effort. I now find these images beautiful, but it took some time. It's hard to move inside, sometimes. Enjoy.

Ashby Flea Market

This is sort of an experiment in color treatment and in content. I took these several months ago and just worked on them in LightRoom the other night. Not sure what I think about them or if I would change them, but I like the way they came out. Also it is notable that I was using a very wide angle lens at the time...It was bright as hell out that day so everything came out a little harsh and my shadow pops up a bunch in the frame. It was an interesting experience, I attracted too much attention with a big ass camera, some positive and some negative. I felt really unsteady about taking photos of strangers, worried they would not understand my intent. It brought up a lot of conflictual emotions, but I am glad for the experience overall.

New Blog colors...woah.

hey 5-O,

I kind of drastically changed the blog, not sure if I like it, needs some adjustment. I just got inspired and ran out of steam. Feel free to change it up, or revert it to it's previous look.

-J

part 2:

okay, I changed it mostly back, again feel free to mess with it, maybe we could experiment more with it and see what comes about. I was inspired by a link I emailed you guys. peace.

but now I miss the way it was....ahh, such is life.

is what it is.

fog. (tomales bay)

The Friday Photo. (on the freeway after work)

favorite hoodie.

acrylic on canvas, 36"x36"

I finally (finally!) finished this painting, after literally years. It's usually been hard for me to actually finish artwork to my satisfaction- I have half a dozen paintings that I've started and never picked back up again. I forget how much I love the feeling of scrubbing acrylic paint off of my hands and arms (and face, and hair, and clothes...).

Painting myself is weird. Looking at my own face objectively is weird. "Objectively" meaning that when I'm actually working on the likeness of someone I know, I break things down into shapes and lines instead of seeing the whole, and then always have the experience of being shocked by my own feelings of love when I step back from the shapes and see that it's all come together to look like... well, someone I know. I got to have that experience working on this piece too, which was novel and surprising. I (am beginning to) know and love my own face.

familiar views

Places and Things...and a few thoughts.

I forgot how film only allows for you to have the experience of 'shooting'. It forces you to use your eyes, frame the shot, expose, and keep walking with no connection to the final product, except in your imagination. It forces you to be more about your process in a way that I am finding really refreshing. So, getting more practice walking around town with the Leica M6 and 35mm 'cron. It is a different kind of approach I find: fixed lens, film, and all manual settings. I am noticing that my subject matter is evolving with this camera. I am discriminating more than when I can shoot, look down at the screen, frown, erase, and try again. But, when the exposure is just right, I love the final product. So far I have shot all in black and white, I would love to see some color on the leica. Maybe next roll. Any ways, the last couple rolls were really productive and I am happy to find my flow with this beautiful tool.

A National Geographic Master's Retrospective: an interview with a.stride

I was walking to work to the National Geographic offices this morning, cup a joe from Local 123 in hand, when a guy charged out of Lanesplitter's and bumped into me. The coffee, flying from my right hand, I somehow managed to CATCH with my left hand and not spill a single drop.

Sometimes luck is just on your side and I knew today was that day. But not mostly because of my coffee saving prowess- I knew today we had the opportunity for a rare interview with one of the infamous The Fashion Police. members- the esteemed, award-winning photojournalist known to the world as 'a.stride', whose one of many, many great accomplishments was the creation of a whole new genre of art (let alone life, to his admirers)- iPhone Nature Photography (iPNP). Without further delay, let's meet the one whom they refer to as a.stride, known more intimately to his loved ones as a.strizzle.

NG: Thank you so much for being with us today, a.strizzle- is it okay if I call you that?- it's an honor.

AS: Of course, thank you. NG has always been a favorite of mine. I'm always like, hey, check out that bird!

NG: Thanks. I know you've talked about this elsewhere, but can you tell us a.stride a bit about the conceptual and philosophical origins of iPNP. I know we don't have time for your explanation of it's creative transformation of artistic lexicon!

AS: Right! (laughs) Well, one could tell the story several different ways- all of which of course would have their scent of truth, if you will. Recently, I've been remarking on this artistic endeavor from the perspective that- hey, there I was surrounded by life with no camera but my iPhone, so naturally I just began to shoot. And I think- hey, what a perfect reflection of my creative process.

NG: But who would of thought, nature photography with the iPhone!?

AS: Well... looks can be deceiving.

NG: Facinating. Now, let's explore some particular shots in more detail, if you don't mind, to gain deeper insight into the phenomenon known as iPNP. Undoubtedly your most famous work is the series of three shots from the 'deer in the city' era, a collaborative project from the early days of The Fashion Police. Walk us through that particular series.

AS: Yeah, that was an amazing day. You know, everything just kind of worked out so nicely. I was headed up to btown.'s place to discuss the philosophical intricacies of solace on the road (explored elsewhere in our volumes The Road Book. and Journey to Self.), and these three deer emerged into a patch of sun just as I was leaving my car...



NG: So there were THREE deer!? Amazing, I never knew that.

AS: Yea, I know, right? Most people just assume, you know, it's a.stride, if there were three deer he would have captured them all in the photo. But I had tired of that three deer motif and wanted to explore the true bounds of what 'deer in the city' meant to me, what it could really entail, so I shifted things, you know.

NG: I totally know.

AS: Right. So the first shot just represented that sort of casual yet profound and often unreachable state of, 'hey, here I am in this life, and I just got out of my car and there's three deer.' So, you know, it really was my first exploration of this whole new approach to 'deer in the city'. I'd really never tried anything like it before.

NG: That's wassup. And your second shot? People often comment on the subtle temperature shifts, and wonder just what exactly you were conveying. Was that related to Health Care reform debates current at that time? Or is it a message about global warming?

AS: Well, I kind of think it speaks for itself, you know.



NG: Ooh, totally. Wow. I always felt that. And the third? I gotta say, this photo just blows me away, it kind of reminds me of a Wang Kar Wai film, maybe 2046.



AS: You know, that was a really fun one. I felt free in my creative spirit- like a soaring hawk, actually- and I just went with it, like, 'hey, what if i just ran after this deer and tried to shoot it with my iPhone!?' Just so free, you know. So I did it.

NG: Thanks for that, that was incredible to hear about. So that was a powerful time for you, the TFP era?

AS: Oh yeah, without a doubt. btown. and Prince are my closest creative comrades. Deer in the City wouldn't have even happened without taping the collective power available to us.

NG: Fa shoshoshoshoshosho.....

AS: Stop it.

NG: Right, sorry strizzle. How centrally does Blue Bottle play in TFP's force of virve?

AS: You know what's funny about that, as good as that ish is, it's not even the best in our hometown. I know Blue Bottle is an artifact in some of our work, but we actually get most of our fuel from this cheese shop down the street. They sell calendars of orchids.

NG: Coffee from a cheese shop?

AS: Serious mojo.

NG: Okay, one last question- and it's a doozy. Do you think your shots were influenced greatly by the emergence of Sensorium at that time?

AS: Woah, we don't really talk about that in public... But, you know- for the record- what most people forget was that Prince actually began Deer in the City BEFORE Sensorium took the world by storm.

NG: You're referring to his fabulous shot with the deer revealing that oh so rare and subtle 'deer in the headlights' expression and the hexagonal bokeh? Masterpiece.

AS: Right. I guess I'm just saying that Deer in the City has it's own power. Now of course, Sensorium changed everything... but I hesitate to even discuss it too much.

NG: Wow, well thanks a.strizzle! This has been a truly illuminating exchange! Anything on the horizon you could give us a peek at?

AS: Well, I can't reveal too much, but... actually, I'll let you be the first to know, I'm starting a new series unlike anything I've attempted previously. It's actually completely fair to call it "a whole new level", which you are totally welcome to call it. I'm entitling it, 'dog in the city'.



NG: WTF!?! New level indeed! You never cease to amaze. Look forward to your future endevours, say wassupers to the Police. from all of us here at the Geographic!

AS: No problem. Here's an autographed coffee mug with a btown. graf shot I stole off her Flickr page on it. It's for your little niece.

NG: Awesome. Thanks again!

My Love on christmas

Movement

I passed by some dancers working out their choreography. They were moving across the floor like gorillas.

happy new year, tfp.